Archive for the ‘Life Skills’ Category

…Lemme phrase that question in another way…

What do you seem to constantly affirm to yourself?

(Good or Bad what you Affirm on a regular basis is your favorite Affirmation, i.e – the things you’ve been saying to yourself that becomes what you believe.)

You can always change what you believe about yourself, about others, and about your world in your mind. For some, the mental change can be quick…almost instant. For others, the mental change can take time. Either way, if you desire to change the way you think about yourself, your situation, or others, one of the best ways to do it is with Affirmations. What you affirm to yourself consistently over time becomes a belief. That belief can be about yourself, about others, about your situation, about your environment, etc. Beliefs are strong, some stronger than others. Yet beliefs are usually deep rooted because of something you have affirmed to yourself. (more…)


“It does not matter how slow you go, so long as you don’t stop.” 

Life doesn’t always seem to give us what we consider the time to get our lives together and further our own endeavors. What you must hold in your mind and heart is the idea that you will never give up on making your life what you want it to be no matter what career path you choose. 

Here are somethings that I believe in that have helped me continue on my career path without stopping.

Let’s Put An End To This Now!

The last post I created gave you clues as to whether or not you’re getting the runaround when dealing with people in various situations. These situations are often ones where you are in need of something from someone whether it be business or personal, sometimes political or spiritual. Your initial approach to get what you want from this person didn’t yield and immediate response, which is fine. Not every situation can be handled right away or when first brought to attention. Patience is therefore stressed and expected, but after awhile you may start to feel as if you’re not being listened to or taken seriously. You could be getting the runaround.

What is the runaround? As stated in my last post, the runaround is a specific set of replies and actions meant to keep you in a loop of expectation without actually giving you what you want. You could be lied to, delayed, or even worse, put on the back-burner indefinitely. You know it because you feel it. You start to believe that who ever is giving you the runaround doesn’t deem your situation or demands to be of much importance. All of this is just a refresher on what was stated in my last post but this post is about putting a stop to the runaround. Will putting a stop to the runaround mean that you are going to get what you want? That you will be listened to and taken seriously? No. Not all the time. There are times when you just have to give up on ending the runaround and take a different course of action. That course of action could be you letting go of what you are trying to get, finding someone else, somewhere else, to provide the same solution you wanted in the first place, or bringing attention to your situation in way that forces your desired objective to be completed. It all depends on what you want, how serious the situation is, and how much you are willing to get what you desire.

The 3 Checkpoints and The Questions That Go With Them.

In the last post I stated that in order to properly assess that you are getting the runaround when you cannot feel that’s it’s happening with your own intuition, you should start by conducting a series of “Checkpoints” that include various observations and questions that you can ask yourself. These 3 Checkpoints are: 1.) A Situation Check 2.) An Interaction Check 3.) A Self Check. Usually when a person is in tune with their own intuition, they perform these checks internally and automatically. Intuition is like a sixth sense but more closely related to your kinetic (feeling) senses than being a sense in its own. Many people lack the natural ability to use their intuition. Either they weren’t born with that ability or they just don’t trust their “gut” enough. The observations and questions within each checkpoint can help to develop a sense of intuition, but in order to hone and sharpen this natural ability, you must learn to trust your gut. If you feel that you’re getting the runaround but don’t completely trust your gut instincts, then using the checkpoints will help. In time, you’ll begin to develop your own style of observations and questioning, thereby creating your own set of checkpoints. You’ll learn to trust your gut more often and that will aid you in other ways as well.

Once you’ve gone through the checkpoints or have given considerable weight to your gut instincts and have come to the conclusion you are indeed getting the runaround, the next step is to find a way to put an end to it. My suggestions are mostly interaction based since much of the time the runaround is given as you are interacting with your intended person.

1st Suggestion: Adding Value To The Situation

Whether the situation you are facing is of the utmost importance or not very important at all to you, the only way your target is going to consider it important to them will be based on how well you’ve placed value on the situation and the outcome. When I say value, I mean do both you and your target benefit at the same time if the situation is resolved? Is the resolving of the situation more beneficial to you or them? If it only benefits you, chances are that your target knows this. Try not to be selfish with your desires. Find a way to show your target that ending the runaround and tending to your desires is a win-win situation for both of you. At times, major circumstances surrounding your demands can force cooperation. These circumstances immediately let your target know that it isn’t beneficial, for either of you, to put the situation and your requests on hold. There are times when your target does not know the severity surrounding your request. Then there are times when your target doesn’t care. Adding value to the situation gives you and the other person more incentive to tend to the situation swiftly.

There is a phrase that everyone asks themselves when considering a request or demand from someone else: What’s In It For Me? Its the age old question everyone asks. When trying to add value to your situation so that your intended person places importance on it, ask yourself this: What’s In It For Them? Adding value is not difficult so long as you have gone through your checkpoints.

2nd Suggestion: Keep your interactions smooth and to the point

Adding value usually works best so long as you’ve been having smooth interactions with the person giving you the runaround. Being pushy and aggressive doesn’t always work, especially if your target person hasn’t seen the value in the solution to your situation. Even more, if there are no major circumstances surrounding your situation, then you can best believe that pushy and aggressive interactions will continue to result in getting the runaround. Also, if you do not get to the point or cannot get your point across in your interactions, the target person may look at it as you just wanting to vent with no real desire, or no real situation, to resolve. Not everyone has the time to lend a listening ear for no reason. Smooth and to the point.

That doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover either. Be confident in what you are trying to achieve and in the value you are adding to your situation. Timidity can come off not only as a sign of weakness, but also that you have no real desire to see your situation tended to. Sounds like what I just wrote about being pushy and aggressive in the last paragraph, doesn’t it? Well it is in a way. Consider being pushy or a pushover as being two sides of the same coin. The net result is almost always the same: the runaround.

3rd Suggestion: Don’t Wait Too Long Between Interactions

I know you don’t like to wait, no one does but many times, patience can be the virtue you need to get you through the wait. However, in my opinion, you should never wait too long between your interactions. Especially if you want to end the runaround. Even if your target person says let’s get up in two weeks, doesn’t mean you have to wait two weeks before interacting with them again. If your target person sets up a supposed time to meet and resolve your situation, you must hold them to it, and you must remind them from time to time as well.

Sometimes people are just too busy to handle every situation as they come up, and you have to be the one told to wait. If you have run through your checkpoints, you’ll already know your target personal or professional position, and you’ll be considerate of that when interacting with them. Plus, if you know the person in question, as well as their habits of handling each situation they have to deal with, you’ll know whether to back off or press on. This suggestion should be what you decide on given your observations of the 2nd checkpoint.

3rd Suggestion: Get Them To Agree And Commit To Date And Hold Them To It

More often than not, waiting sucks. Yeah, yeah…I know, I already said not to wait too long between interactions but that doesn’t mean you’ve got a scheduled date and time to call or meet and talk about the situation. Get your target person to agree to a scheduled meeting and hold them to it. Make them accountable for that date. Have them email you with a confirmation of your scheduled appointment. Remind them of the integrity surrounding the way they go about handling the situation. If your target wants to cancel or reschedule on you, make sure they send you a confirmation of that. Do not leave it at a phone call that says “Sorry but we can’t meet this day, something came up, I’ll call you back to reschedule” Make sure you get that confirmation. That is ammo for you when it comes to a part in the next suggestion. If you do not get an email or some kind of written confirmation from your target, then proceed to attend your meeting as scheduled. Always have a date or time lined up for everything…including a call to reschedule…and ALWAYS GET A CONFIRMATION!

Your target person may want to push things off onto their secretary, assistant, or some attendant. Do not go for that. You make sure that you get your target to send you a quick confirmation email. It only takes a minute to write “As per our conversation, I promise to call you again on ____date to reschedule our meeting based on availability.” Your target wasn’t too busy to call and tell you that they will call you back to reschedule, so they shouldn’t be too busy to send that email. With the way technology is today, emails can be sent from any smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Do not accept an email from a subordinate or third party. Get your confirmations from your target person.

4th Suggestion: Apply A Little, Or A lot, Of Pressure

Everyone responds to stress in different ways just as everyone responds to pressure in different ways. If your situation is causing you stress and you must have it resolved, but your target is giving you the runaround repeatedly, then maybe it’s time to apply some pressure to that person. What’s great here is that many times you can apply pressure and add value as well! Yet, many times you just need to apply pressure. So how do you apply pressure and what should you do? You can start off by being a bit more aggressive when trying to get your target to interact with you. Cut down your wait times and call more often. Do more visits. Throw a tantrum…no don’t throw a tantrum, you’ll just look like a baby. Get other people involved in the situation. Write in some letters to your target. Send emails. Post a review on a customer review site or forum, then share that review with as many people as possible and make sure you get replies from the readers. Hell, if the circumstances are major to you, get the media in on it!

Refrain from making threats of violence or using violence. Very rarely does threats of violence or using violence make you look good when trying to get your needs met or ending the runaround. Violent threats can lend you in jail. If you’re into some shady business endeavors, then quite possibly threats of violence and violence itself are the way to go. I am writing this post to appeal to people that are NOT in that type of situation. You also have to know that with the way technology is these days, very rarely does a threat of violence go unrecorded. If charges are pressed against you, those violent threats can be used against you in court.

This is not to say you cannot make a threat at all. There are different types of threats and not all of them are violent in nature. If you make a threat, be ready to follow through on it or your target person may not take you seriously. One kind of threat is the media threat. Bad publicity doesn’t work in your target’s favor. Make sure you have a plan together to involve the media if you use them in your threat and show your target proof of your plan. As the saying goes, Don’t just talk about it, be about it! Learning how to properly apply pressure to the person giving you the runaround can have a positive affect on getting your situation resolved. It takes a bit of skill as well. Your first few attempts at applying pressure may not work the way you want at first if you’ve never done it before.

5th Suggestion: If All Else Fails, Get Someone Else To Handle Your Situation

Sometimes no matter how hard you try to get your target to listen to and act upon your demands, they may never move to resolve your situation at all. If you’ve gone through your checkpoints, you should already have another person of equal or more influence or authority that you can call on to get your situation handled. Start with the next person in the chain of command. Go above the target if you have to. Trust me, if your target has a superior and the superior has to be called in to handle the situation because of negligence, that will come down on your initial target. Maybe next time they’ll do their job and resolve situations like they’re supposed to.

Also consider going to a different company or organization that can handle your situation. Some businesses don’t mind cleaning up another business’s mess so they can convert you to their company and get your patronage. Be sure to write a letter of thanks to that company and another letter of disappointment to the target person and company you initially tried to deal with. Go a step further and write a review about your experience.

What if the person you’re trying to meet with is a friend, family member, or love interest? What if the situation is just you getting together for a date or fun night out/hang out session with someone you haven’t seen in awhile? Well, then the best thing to do is have a backup plan for those occasions. Chances are you know the friend or family member all too well and if its a person you want to date, you might want to find another person that will be available at a moments notice should the need arrive. Stick to whatever plan you decide to make, just execute those plans with another person. Sincerely have a good time with that other person. Take pics or videos of showing all of the fun you had on that occasion. Then make it known to your initial target friend, family member, or love interest that you still went out and had a good time in their absence. They may reconsider cancelling on you the next time you arrange a get together. If your relationship or meet up is of no real importance to your target person, then it wont make it difference since they’re only making false promises. Then again, if you’re building value and getting a commitment from them, chances are they wont cancel and if they do, they’ll may feel bad about it make a better effort to get together the next time.

Take The Best Course Of Action For You According To Your Situation

Remember, these are just suggestions. Much of this is from my own personal experience. You have to assess your situation first before taking action according to the suggestions I made. Use the Checkpoints from the previous post before determining the next course of action suggested in this post. Some cases may require pressure, some may require patience, others may require taking other measures. I’m sure there are more ways you can stop getting the runaround. If you have any suggestions of your own, please feel free to share them in the comments.

To end this I will say one thing…and though I mentioned it before, it should be stated again and understood: YOU MUST LEARN TO TRUST YOUR GUT, YOUR INSTINCTS, YOUR INTUITION. Not only will that keep you on point when dealing with someone giving you the runaround, trusting your intuition will also become an extremely valuable skill to aid you for the rest of your life in all situations!


Here’s your situation: You are in need of something from a professional place of business. Whether it be work, service, a product, or the resolution of an issue, all you want is that chance to speak your mind and get what you desire. After going through the Chain-of-Command of professionals, you get to the big guy…The man in charge. Now you feel as though you are going to get the help you want.

Here’s another situation: Maybe you don’t need anything from a business, but want something from a family member or a friend. Quite possibly you could be interested in a potential mate and you want desperately to get that chance with them. Soon, however, you begin to realize that people are giving you the RUN AROUND. Once you get to that point, you need to figure out if what you want from that person or company is worth the time and effort to get past the run around and get your results.

What exactly is the run around?

Basically, the run around is a specific set of lies/actions meant to keep you in a loop of expectation without actually giving you what you want. The person giving you the run around never had the intention of fulfilling your desires in the first place. So they give you the run around hoping that you will “get the hint” after awhile and give up. This is not to be confused with someone who has a really busy or hectic life or schedule and just can’t set the time aside for you. Their intentions may be well, and they more than likely want to address your needs or meet with you, but the timing is not right.

See, what’s happening when you get the run around is that your intended target doesn’t see the value in who you are or what your needs are. Maybe you haven’t placed enough value on what you desire? Maybe you haven’t placed enough value on yourself? Maybe there has been no sense of urgency surrounding your situation? No matter what the question is, the answer is the same: you’re getting nowhere fast with this person. After awhile you feel like giving up because either you believe that your target is too busy or you know they are giving you the run around.

How do you know this? Well, if you’re in tune with own intuition, you should be able to pick up on it. May not be right away, but you’ll pick up on it. If you’re not in tune with your intuition, then you need to observe a few things.

1st things 1st:

Let’s check the situation. Just because you feel you’re situation deserves much needed attention, that doesn’t mean it does. How serious are your needs? Dire? Extreme? Light? Can you make it through life without having that meeting with an old friend? Will you be able to function if you never see the store manager for a customer service or product related issue? Does your project have to be seen by this potentially influential individual or can you find someone else with the same clout and influence somewhere else?


Let’s check your interactions. Are you able to talk to your target? What was that like? Did they sound sincere in their voice? Did they rush you off the phone, out of their office, or away from the meeting area? Were they asking questions of you to get as much info as necessary? Did they make claims to have the time available only to reschedule time and time again? Do you FEEL put off? DOES IT FEEL LIKE YOUR TARGET SEEMS TO BE BOTHERED BY YOU? Do you find yourself contacting them over and over again, with barely any reply?


Let’s check yourself. Were you frustrated by your situation from the beginning? Do you know your target’s current situation? Were you polite when you contacted your target? Have you been able to place value on resolving the situation or having your needs met? DO YOU FIND YOURSELF CONTACTING YOUR TARGET OFTEN? Do you lack the patience needed to deal with a potential “run around” situation?

So now that you’ve asked yourself these questions and answered them, what overall conclusion have you come to? Are you getting the run around?

Here are some things to consider:

When interacting face to face – Check your target’s overall posture, gestures, and facial expressions. Make sure they are paying attention to you as you speak. Paying attention doesn’t mean staring. For all that they could be looking through you, not at you. Look at their posture. If it seems like they are bored or uninterested, they probably are. Watch their gestures because if they are fiddling with things like their pockets or other devices, writing or anything that doesn’t seem to be involving you, then it may be that you’re not that important to them and they feel as long as they are there to hear you speak that will satisfy you. Check out their tone of voice. Does it seem like they really want to speak?

Listen to their excuses – If you know their situation, the excuses for giving you the run around will either be valid or invalid. For example: A manager looking to hire someone quickly will not give you the run around if they feel you are a quality candidate for work. So if they schedule for an interview, then cancel without a reschedule, chances are you will get the run around. Remember, everyone who works knows their schedule so they know when they are available. Especially managers.

Knowing when someone is giving you the run around is more about feeling and intuition than facts or timing. Trust your gut instincts and know when to either give up or push the issue more. My next blog will tell you how to stop a person from giving you the run around.

Good luck in your efforts.